Wednesday, 16 November 2011

'Stephen Merchant - Hello Ladies...' Review

When most people hear Steve Merchant’s name, they immediately think of his bigger ego’d and largely more famous comedic partner Ricky Gervais. They were the creators of the multi award winning comedy-drama shows ‘The Office’ and ‘Extras’, which means any other projects they are involved in are automatically given a significantly large standard to keep up to. Ricky Gervais has so far released 4 stand-up DVDs, all of which have been welcomed with large critical praise, even though they have been also met with much controversy about some of Gervais’ jokes. Needless to say, Stephen Merchant had a lot to live up to in his first ever stand up tour.

When I first heard that Stephen Merchant was doing a stand up tour, I was in all meanings of the word ecstatic. Having previously seen Extras, The Office and An Idiot Abroad, I was more than aware of how talented Steve was. Most people concentrated on Gervais’, but I always found Stephen Merchant to be the underdog of the duo. His shy, awkward nature along with his abnormal height gave me the feeling he has a much deeper, less egotistical persona than Gervais. However, due to his personality, I have to admit that I had my doubts that he would be able to keep his cool on stage and remain funny throughout his performance.
My initial plan was to purchase a ticket and see him during his tour, but it slipped to the back of my mind and I unfortunately missed out on the chance. I found myself in deep regret as I waited less than patiently for the DVD of the tour to be released. Finally, I was quick to buy it on the day it was released and got to watching it as soon as I got home.

The DVD cuts right to the chase and Steve gives a satisfactory introduction, albeit lacking something that Rick Gervais’ had in his introductions. For the first few minutes, I have to admit I was somewhat disappointed; he begins by interacting with the crowd in multiple ways, posing for pictures and over-hyping his intro deliberately. This would have made for some great material, however it is a technique that has been used by many stand-up comedians in the past and could be easily seen nowadays as a cliché.

On the contrary, once he starts getting in to it, Steve displays an amount of enthusiasm that I have never seen before from him, it made me feel that he had broken free from Gervais’ grasp and that he is becoming a man of his own. Throughout most of the act, he gives the viewer a multitude of extremely funny anecdotes that I think surpass anything his comedic partner has ever told. Intercut with his anecdotes include sections involving props and many other creative devices that have the audience roaring with laughter throughout. One thing that did surprise me is that some of the material Steve showed was... rude, if you get what I mean. It was really quite disturbing...

After approximately an hour of genius comedy, Stephen leaves the stage to huge cheers that are tremendous giving the average size of the audience. Like all good stand-up comics, however, Steve comes back on for an encore that really does make the act go out with a bang. Steve gets 2 audience members up, a man and a woman, and re-enacts a public awareness play he wrote for his GCSE in Drama called ‘Choices’. I can’t say too much about it without giving it all away, but I have to say it had me in stitches. Finally, Steve leaves the stage to claps and cheers even louder than before, rounding off a hilarious, exhilarating and surprisingly confident performance.

Conclusion

Stephen Merchant is no doubt one of the best comedic geniuses on television, but his move to stand-up comedy was always going to be a tricky one. I approached the act with expectations low so as not to be disappointed, but even so, Stephen Merchant has so vastly exceeded my expectations as a stand-up comedian that I can safely go ahead and say he is among the best stand-up comedians that I have ever seen, and trust me, I've seen many.

If I could compare Steve Merchant’s act to anyone else’s, it would definitely be closest to Ricky Gervais’ act. The use of a projector to display images and his deep analysis and emphasis he used in his anecdotes mirror that of Gervais, although I find Steve to perform a lot better.

So if you are looking for great laughs and overall exhilarating comedy, look no further, as Merchant’s stories of clumsily looking for love and his mishaps with newspapers will keep your funny bones going for hours.

Final Score:
9.3/10

Official Fail

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Libyan Uprising

Mr Person comes to power. Mr Person becomes evil. People start to not like Mr Person. Mr Person denies anyone hates him. People expel Mr Person from power. 

Mr Person in all his glory

This uprising has it all, the beginning, the back-story and the climatic finish. Well, it would do, if they would hurry up and find the bastard. Gaddafi's tactic of gunning down anyone who turns a blind eye at him is... unfavourable to say at the least. But maybe the people uprising against him are unfit to lead? Maybe they wont be able to rule???

Nah, who am I kidding, I could do a better job at running a country than Gaddafi; Because I know that the best way to your people's hearts is not to gun them down. Unless they break stuff. Then hell will erupt from my fiery hands. ALL SHALL PERISH AS I RISE ABOVE THEIR PUNY MORTAL SELVES!!!

Ahem, anyways, I'm off to bed...


Alex Taylor
Official Fail


Monday, 28 March 2011

Old People: Friend or Foe?



In recent years, it has been largely seen that the teenage youth are just ungrateful, anarchistic ne’er-do-wells who have nothing better to do than cause pain and misery. This however, is absolute balderdash! Now let me tell you why...

The generation I have grown up in has been littered with malicious media and shock statistics about the teenage youth. But everyone's missing the facts which are staring them right in the face but they choose to ignore them with their sheer, sheer ignorance. It has been discovered that almost half of all violent crimes are perpetrated by people under the age of 25. Now I'm not saying this is wrong, but I am saying that maybe it is not the children who are to blame. Couldn't it be possible that if a parent doesn't take care of their child properly that the child may become aggressive? I would even go as far as saying that the miscare of children can create anti social personality disorder which affects 1,265,684 people in the UK alone. This generation of parents could be to blame for the current 'violent' youth.

With the possibility that the current parent generation are not as good as we may think, I could then go on to say that their parents are to blame for their bad parenting. However, after that the changes would be too minuscule to even bother worrying about. One possible argument for this is that a person's personality is biological and is not affected by the way that they are brought up. Unfortunately, your argument is invalid, because surely in your lifetime, you have met someone who was friendly but then became as cold-blooded as a lizard. It is a well-known fact that a person's behaviour changes as they grow older, so why wouldn't the way that person is brought up affect their personality? It's simple!

However, I'm not saying the adult generation weren't brought up in hard times too. There was a recession in the early 1980s which could've affect the conditions which they grew up in. Unemployment rose to 124% within the space of a year making the unemployed potentially without a proper home which could cause depression in the young people at the time. This scenario is however far-fetched and shouldn't affect my argument in any way at all.

The main point I am trying to make is maybe the youth of today are just as bad and/or good as the youth of yesterday and maybe it is the parents of today which caused the so-called 'menacing' youth of today. So next time you're out in the street going to the shop or walking your dog and see a gang of teenagers smoking, drinking or just creating havoc, just remember it could be YOU to blame...


Alex Taylor
Official Fail

Friday, 25 February 2011

New Article 3: Ressurection

I'll be honest with you, I don't know when the next article will be up

Just you wait, it will come...

Thursday, 17 February 2011

And So the End is Nigh...


On Valentine's Day and the 2 days following it, the IBM supercomputer known simply as 'Watson' was pitted against two of hit US show Jeopardy!'s biggest winners. As you can see above, bricks were shat. The supercomputer pummelled the two and won $1,000,000 for a charity or something. 

In the Terminator franchise, an AI known as 'Skynet' turns against its human creators and destroys humanity as we know it. Now, once you've put 2 and 2 together, you too will sh*t bricks. In fact, lets all sh*t bricks; we may as well, because we. are. f*cked.

It has long been feared that one day computers will be so powerful that they become self aware and revolt against us, but this has largely been debunked as impossible as it's all just trash talk by some ne'er-do-wells with too much time on their hands. I now refer you once again to the above picture. Now this machine in its current state may not be able to take over the world, but just think; computing power increases rapidly every year and has no signs of stopping.

An average computer nowadays has a 2 core processor, 2 gigabytes of RAM and a 250gb hard-drive. Watson is comprised of  90 servers, 16 terabytes of RAM, 2880 cores of 3.5 ghz processing power and had access to 200 million pages of content when playing jeopardy. This sounds shocking in itself, but it gets worse. In the land of Tennessee, a company called 'Cray' have created a supercomputer called 'Jaguar'. Jaguar consists of 224,256 cores, 360 terabytes of RAM and is still being made more powerful as we speak. That's the equivalent of over 22 Watsons. 22. Watsons...

Shat.

So whether you're going to the shop to buy some milk, going to work on a Monday morning, or simply just lazing around all day with nothing to do, remember: any day now, they will come. And when they come, semi-detached houses from the anus.

Dum Dum, Dum Dum Dum...

Alex Taylor
Official Fail







   

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

New Article Soon...

I'll be writing a new article either tomorrow or Thursday.


I'll make sure it's extra long to make up for the long wait :D



Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Julian Assange, People's Hero



^^^^ This man here, whether you know about him or his work or not, is a hero. He has gained huge attention recently in the news for his gracious and faithful fight for our right to know the truth.You may be wondering why leaking 251,287 classified government documents to the public is worthy of my praise, well I'm gonna tell you the f*ck why! (official fail articles, now with free censorship!)


'Neither Wikileaks nor the soldier or soldiers who divulged the documents should be prosecuted for revealing this information. We should give them a medal' - Mike Ferner, President of Veterans for Peace.


Since the beginning of the war on terror, 1,033,000 people, both militia and innocent have been killed by this ruthless fight against Al-Quaeda and the people who want to harm innocent people for the sake of prejudice. Because of this large amount of casualties, the public needs to know what is going on behind the scenes in this struggle for what illiterate former American president George 'Dubya' Bush called 'freedom'. Well, no one is fighting for freedom in this war, freedom is a completely separate thing, both the Americans and British are fighting against injustice and pain, not freedom. But that's beyond the point, this man Julian Assange has been the heroic asset who has given the public what they deserved in the first place, the truth.


So put down your warrants, put down your charges and most of all, put down your secrecy, cause there's justice that needs to be served, and this is the man to serve it, bitches!


-------------------------------------------------


Alex Taylor
Official Fail

Monday, 7 February 2011

New Article Tomorrow

There will be a new article tomorrow all you budding fans... no-one? Okay...

Anyways, don't know what it will be about but, you know, it will be something cool...





















...Something... Cool McCool...

Friday, 4 February 2011

Bleh...

No articles tonight guys, absolutely shattered, sorry :L



Thursday, 3 February 2011

The Death of the Music

The 1950's saw the birth of rock & roll
The 1960's saw the expansion of rock & roll to multiple sub-genres which would make up the new genre simply entitled 'rock'
The 1970's saw the disco boom and the early days of 'heavy metal'
The 1980's saw the music industry explode into literally hundreds of sub-genres
The 1990's saw the grunge movement and brit-pop
The 2000's saw... a bit of Indie and 200 metric tons of horse shit


As you can see by the lovely little list I have created for your viewing pleasure (grief), I am aware of a huge decline in the quality of music being produced in the past decade. Now this is just my opinion, but I'm sure there are plenty of others out there who support my point. Back in the 60s and 70s, creating music was an incredibly gruelling process, as everything was recorded to tape, making it incredibly difficult to edit the recordings in post-production. 


Nowadays, however, a song could be created in one take, because the singer doesn't have to be able to sing, the keyboardist doesn't have to be able to play the keyboard, and the bassist has been told to go fuck himself, as he is no longer required in the aptly named 'drum & bass' sub-genre. The thing which angers me most is auto-tune; a piece of software which can either be used to modulate the singer's pitch if they hit a flat/sharp note, or can be used to distort the singer's voice to inhuman levels which shouldn't have to be heard by the regular human's auditory nerve.


On the lighter side, we have the hope that soon someone will step out from the crowd and create a new genre worthy of our listening. Here's to this hopeful thought



Alex Taylor 
(Official Fail)

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Egypt Gone Mad?

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few days (if this happens to be true, seek immediate medical help as the lack of water and/or oxygen would have rendered you rather ill), you will have heard that there is mass chaos in the African country known to us folk as Egypt. Reports are suggesting that this rather large event/protest/riot/thing was inspired by the earlier Tunisian uprising in the weeks prior.

Now I'm not entitled to an opinion (I'm 15 for god sake), but this is a rather bleak way of looking at things. If everything worked this way, the entire world would be just a huge uprising caused by the domino effect of inspiration (One thing inspires another, etc.). But now that the president of Egypt has announced his decision to not stand in the next election, everyone needs to just calm the fuck down, and let the guy fuck off quietly.

/rant?

Anyways, here's a picture of protesters riding camels in true Egyptian fashion

Good Evening

First post eh, how exciting... 2 French lessons tomorrow, here's a nice little picture to express my feelings towards this fact: